Long-short version: I set my time, thoughts, and focus on the story of my life. What is it? Where is it steering me? Am I the person I want to be? Is my life what I want it to be? I wouldn't complain about it because it didn't feel right to do so, but I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I had successfully added a lot of really great things into my life (that I wouldn't take back or change), that were essentially distracting me from areas that lacked fulfillment. And after years of doing that, I realized I wasn't happy with just that and my life was out of balance. So - where did I start? I chose a path, committed my time and money to that path, and worked super super hard to stay the path. I've enjoyed the last year and everything I have learned, the people I have met, and the me I have allowed myself to be (again).
So what's this have to do with art? Well - for one, I haven't done that much in the past year. But, I'm feeling the space and spirit return to my mind so I'm back at it. I have been lugging around this box filled with shattered car window(s) for a long time - adding to it when I randomly see more glass on a side street. I had a vision of how I wanted to use it, then as a lot of my projects go...it didn't go as planned, so I just worked with it. I think I spent a good 4 hours gluing glass the first day I really worked on this. Time flies when you're gluing glass folks! At least for me. Ah - the satisfaction of the tedious tasks that I get. I started listening to myself as I was putting this puzzle of glass together. I found myself talking to the glass - encouraging it to play nice, get along, and fit together so we all stay happy. I would compliment it when it went together easily, and I thanked it for not cutting my fingers. Ridiculous, I know. But it's the truth.
Which is where the restorative things comes in. It's what I've been doing with myself this past year. I have been scooping up these parts of my life that have been busted up and dispersed to be found in random areas, all brought back together to create something whole again. I'm like these cars that lost their windows; sometimes it's great to have the wind blowing thru your hair - exhilarating at times. But then when it rains, it may not be as enjoyable. I think I had learned to just enjoy life with my windows gone. Rain sun or shine. Or at least convince myself that I was enjoying the breeze and dampness. I finally acknowledged the windburn and decided on an upgrade. I have had to learn to be kind to myself, encourage myself, and compliment myself. Some of the hardest work in my life. Perhaps some of you can relate? And if so - what are some things that you do that put you in that frame of mind where you feel restorative, empowering, and like you are contributing to a greater good? I thank all the random things and people that steered me into the path of my artwork. I have a great peace and joy for every contribution. If I can learn to apply a similar view to all areas of my life - I think I may have something good there. No doubt.
One of the most powerful things I've heard over the past year, is "If you are going to blame someone for all the bad they have done, you must also blame them for all the good." ..Tony Robbins. Think about it. Apply it to others. Apply it to yourself.
Most of us are stubborn like the forest. We have a stubborn love for things that add richness to our landscape. Like the forest, over time, we find that there are some areas that lack fulfilment.
ReplyDeleteI gain my perspective on RESTORATION from the Bastrop wildfires. Burn it down, turn it around and bring it back to normal. Maybe even better. I see that the fire was not to rid the forest of what it was, but to create "FLOW", a more open posture to what it was lacking in fulfilment. In its case water.
I hope you find your WATER.